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I'd love to know what Labour are saying behind closed doors about the Green Party's alternative Budget released today.

I mean, they're playing nice in public - but behind closed doors, they must be tearing their hair out because this is next level crazy.

I mean, none of it is a surprise. It is full of exactly the kind of utopian, money grows on trees, when-I-grow-up-I-want-to-be-a-unicorn kind of stuff that we expect from the Greens.

There is a wealth tax, there is an increased tax for companies, there are two new personal tax rates, there's a private jet tax, an inheritance tax, there's doubling the bright-line test to bring in more capital gains tax, and a doubling of the minerals tax.

They're also gonna save some money by cutting planned prisoner beds, but they haven't quite explained how they're going to stop these bad guys actually committing the crimes that land them in prison in the first place.

They're gonna spend the money on light rail in Auckland, an overnight train from Wellington to Auckland, trains from Auckland to Tauranga, trains from Christchurch and Dunedin, trains from Auckland to Hamilton, 

There's free GPs, free nursing services, free annual dental check-ups, free basic dental care, free prescriptions, and free childcare from age 6 months.

There's also free income in the form of a UBI for students and beneficiaries - as I say, just the usual crazy stuff which 90 percent of us voters seem to agree makes them completely unfit to run the country's books.

My reaction, obviously, has just been to laugh - because, you know, I was 5 years old too once and I also had these kinds of dreams.

Labour's reaction must be to cry, because this kind of loony nonsense that's paraded as serious policy just makes it so much harder for them to get back into Government.

• Greens promise $88b additional taxes including inheritance tax, for massive social safety net expansion
• Watch: Greens deliver alternative budget, Swarbrick takes battle to ‘right-wing’
• Greens promise new taxes will fund free GP visits, free ECE in alternative Budget

I mean, Labour will need the Greens much more than they have in the past, right?

We are no longer dealing with the Greens sitting at 5 percent where their nutty ideas can be ignored because they will not get as much out of coalition negotiations, we are now dealing with the Green Party consistently sitting at 10 percent and above.

A Labour-Greens government will be 3 quarters Labour and one quarter the Greens - and that's not even counting the other dollop of crazy that's going to come from the Māori Party.

Jet tax, death tax, wealth tax, crims out on the street - Labour must be weeping today.

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